I'm also happy I don't live in Egypt or (nearby Islamic countries) where there's a curious religious debate going on about forbidden sexual practices including whether you should keep your clothes on when having sex.
It all began when Dr Rashad Khalil, an Islamic law expert from al-Azhar university in Cairo, warned that being completely naked during intercourse invalidates a marriage.
Another religious scholar disagreed, saying that it was OK for married couples to see each other naked as long as they don't look at the genitals. To avoid problems in that area, he recommended having sex under a blanket.
One prominent Qatar-based cleric, 79 year-old Yusuf al-Qaradawi, delivered a fatwa on oral sex recently, describing it as "a disgusting Western practice, resulting from Westerners' habit of stripping naked during sexual intercourse".
Another cleric states that oral sex is definitely forbidden, adding that "this hideous practice will draw the anger of Allah".
But it's not just oral sex that gets the thumbs down!
Masturbation is also frowned upon by Islamic scholars, with the Inter-Islam website describing it as an indecent practice that has "crept into the youngsters of today". The Islamic Voice describes masturbation as an "abominable and wicked act" which is forbidden in Islam. "Its harms are great and it has disastrous consequences as established by doctors."
The "proven" medical effects of masturbation, according to Abd al-Aziz bin Baz, the late Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia,include disruption of the digestive system, inflammation of the testicles, damage to the spine ("the place from which sperm originates"), and trembling and instability in some parts of the body like the feet. In addition, it cases decreased intellect and even mental disorders and insanity. Furthermore, "due to constant ejaculation, the sperm no more remains thick and dense as it normally occurs in males". This results in sperm which is not "mighty enough" to make a woman pregnant or produces children who are "more prone to disease and illness".
What about anal sex you ask! Many Sunni clerics maintain "anal sex is a grave sin and is completely forbidden, regardless of whether the wife agrees to it or not."
There is generally more consensus among scholars on the question of kissing. Males and females should not kiss unless they are related by blood or marriage. Same-sex kissing, on the other hand, is allowed as long as it is done without "lust" and avoids the person's mouth.
Yep, I think I'll stay right where I am and enjoy all the forbidden sexual practices I can get my hands (and mouth) on. 
Posted: Wednesday 18th January 2006, 5:44 PM