An oral sex blog for blowjob lovers by a guy who REALLY LOVES BLOWJOBS!

Penis Head Study

In 1993, the U.S. Government funded a study to deterimine why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. At a cost of $175,000, and almost a year of studies, they concluded that it was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the U.S. published their results, France decided to do their own study. $275,000 and 3 years later, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Canada, dissatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and with a cost of around $68.52 and 2 cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

Before anyone complains, this was emailed in by one of the Blowjob Blog's Canadian readers... Thanks "Moose", I can almost hear the sporting shooters of America lock and loading now :)

Posted: Thursday 27th May 2004, 11:34 AM

Blowjob Dilemna

What does getting a blowjob from a toothless eighty-year-old woman and walking a tightrope have in common?

In both cases you REALLY don't want to look down.

Posted: Wednesday 26th May 2004, 6:17 PM

Paris Hilton Strips For Porn Star

She just can't keep her head (or ass, or tits or any other part of her body), out of the news. I was just reading how Paris Hilton shocked onlookers by baring her breasts for porn star Ron Jeremy in return for a glimpse at his cock at a Los Angeles party recently.

Paris and her girlfriend actress Bijou Phillips got the 51-year-old porn star to agree, but only if they flashed their breasts for him.

So off they all went to the bathroom and five minutes later Bijou came out saying, "It's bigger than my boyfriend's!

I wonder what ELSE might have happened in the bathroom? 5 minutes is enough time for a blowjob... especially when you have TWO sets of tits to play with!

Posted: Tuesday 25th May 2004, 1:07 PM

Blow Job Drink

I was out on the town last night when a girl offered me a blowjob! Unfortunately she wasn't coming onto me as she was part of a promotion for a company marketing the "Blow Job" drink.

You might have seen this already but it goes like this...

The person drinking it must use no hands (just their mouth) to pick up the shot from the table or bar, throw their head back and swallow it down.

What's left is usually a white mess around the person's mouth from the whipped cream, hence the name the Blow Job Drink.

Here's the recipe!

Alcohol Level: 13% (26 proof)

Ingredients:
- 1/2 oz Irish Cream
- 1/4 oz Vodka
- Top With Whipped Cream

This alcoholic cocktail is absolutely delicious and I've decided to adopt it as the Blowjob Blog's official drink of choice :) Get one into you the next chance you get!

Posted: Monday 24th May 2004, 7:13 PM

The Talking Parrot

I just HAD to share this one with ya!

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Wow, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my cock around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
"Pssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"Oh No!" he exclaims. "Then what?"

"Then your wife got down on her knees and began giving the postman a blowjob"

"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

Posted: Sunday 23rd May 2004, 10:46 PM

Sex Toy Parties

Billed as the "ultimate girls night in", sex toy parties have become increasingly popular with women over the last decade offering women the opportunity to look at sex toys and sexy underwear without any embarrassment in front of men.

The parties are held at women’s homes and offer a range of intimate lingerie, sex toys, dildos, vibrators, edible body paints and massage lotions.

Now THAT'S a party I'd like to be a fly on the wall at...

Try THIS online shop if YOU'RE looking for Sex Toys... They've got a HUGE range of vibrators, penis pumps, love dolls, anal stimulators, condoms, movies, DVD's, erotic clothing and a whole lot more! There's something for everyone... both women AND men ;)

Posted: Saturday 22nd May 2004, 11:58 AM

Porn Is Addictive

A least that's what the "Lighted Candle Society" are out to prove...

The Utah-based organization wants to use magnetic resonance imaging [MRI] to generate research to scientifically prove porn is addictive.

The Lighted Candle Society has been leading a battle against the pornography industry in the courts since 1964, describing themselves as "an organization dedicated to the preservation and enhancement of moral values".

Now hang on for one cotton-picking minute... Aren't we ADULTS? Don't we have the right to choose whether or not we want to watch porn movies or view porn pictures on the internet?

I don't give two hoots if it IS addictive, in fact I'm SURE it's addictive... much like sex, or breathing, or eating... I know I'd rather enjoy porn and suffer from a hand cramp than go out and catch a disease off a hooker.

It sounds to me as if the Lighted Candle Society needs to join the rest of us in the 21st. century... a much better place than the 19th century where they seem to be stuck...

Posted: Friday 21st May 2004, 4:46 PM

Naked Travel

In what sounds like a gadget from a futuristic sci-fi movie, full body scanners which see straight through people's clothing are coming soon to airports in the UK.

The hi-tech security system, designed to detect guns, knives and other offensive weapons concealed on the body, will be deployed within a year as part of Britain's armoury against terror.

The scanners capture the naked image of a traveller even if he or she is wearing several layers of clothing. But to protect people's modesty they come replete with "fig leaf technology" that detects which parts of the body need screening out.

Hahaha... can you imagine the size of the fig leaf they'd need if John Holmes was still alive!

Posted: Thursday 20th May 2004, 7:22 PM

John Holmes The Movie!

I think one of the first hardcore porn movies I ever watched was "Boogie Nights" which starred John Holmes. I remember feeling more than a little penis-envy when I saw his 13 inch monster for the first time!

Anyway, it appears as if Hollywood are pumping life back into the dearly departed Mr Holmes, even if it has taken NINETEEN attempts to find an actor willing to take on the lead role.

Val Kilmer finally agreed to terms after a host of other leading men, including Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe, rejected it.

In his 20-year career, John Holmes, aka private eye Johnny Wadd, made 2,000 full length hardcore movies and had sex with over 14,000 women. (Not surprisingly, he died from an Aids-related illness in 1988).

14,000 women! That's 700 women per year, or almost 2 per day! Man, I know guys who wouldn't mind dying early if they could have that much sex!!

If you want to see the King of Porn in action, check out this great collection of John Holmes porn movies...

John Holmes 8-Pack - DVD or VHS

Eight of the best full length movies (would you expect anything more from John Holmes!) packaged in one great collection. You can own this collectors edition John Holmes 8 Pack for only $59.95, a saving of $100 on regular prices!

Enjoy all 8 Classic John Holmes DVD's Including...

1. The Treasure Box
2. I Love L.A.
3. Lottery Lust
4. Marina Vice
5. The Lost Tapes
6. The Return of Johnny Wadd
7. Rockey X
8. Saturday Night Beaver

...all for for less than $60!

Or if you want to see the entire collection of John Holmes Porn Movies - CLICK HERE!

Just be prepared for a little penis envy... ;)

Posted: Wednesday 19th May 2004, 6:03 PM

Car Sex Gone Wrong!

Here's proof that having sex in cars can be dangerous in more ways than one ;)

Two lovers in London have learned first hand the dangers of car sex.

Wedged into a two-seater sports car, a near-naked man was suddenly immobilized by a slipped disc in his back, trapping his female companion beneath him.

The woman summoned help by honking the horn with her foot, attracting the attention of a doctor, ambulance driver, firemen and a group of interested passersby.

The lady found herself trapped beneath 180 pounds of pain-racked, immobile man. To free the amorous couple, fireman had to cut away the car frame using the "Jaws Of Life" rescue equipment.

The distraught naked woman, helped out of the car and into a coat, sobbed: "How am I going to explain to my husband what has happened to his car?"

LOL! Too funny! It seems that Cheating Wives and Car Sex are NOT a good mix... unless you're enjoying them from the safety of your PC!

Posted: Tuesday 18th May 2004, 7:06 PM

Sexy Roommates

Jason invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Jason's roommate Rebecca was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Jason and Rebecca, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Jason and Rebecca than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Jason volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Rebecca and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Rebecca came to Jason and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Jason said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter and ask just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you DID take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you DIDN'T take a gravy ladle... but the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

A few days later, Jason received a letter from his mother which read, "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you DO sleep with Rebecca, and I'm not saying that you DON'T sleep with Rebecca... but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now."

Posted: Monday 17th May 2004, 6:33 PM

Big Tit Blowjobs

Are YOU a fan of big tit blowjobs? I don't think I'm the only one here one who likes to fuck a girl's big tits while she's sucking cock ... :)

Well here's a FREE BIG TIT BLOWJOB gallery that you're REALLY gonna like... (It even has a free video!)

Did I mention this girl has huge boobs?

ENJOY!

Posted: Sunday 16th May 2004, 12:22 PM

A Warning For All Men

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert if offered a drink by a woman after reports that many women are using a date rape drug on the market called "Beer".

The drug is found in liquid form in bottles and cans as well as from taps and in large containers called "kegs".

Beer is being used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to have sex with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply asks him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered powerless using this approach.

After drinking Beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the woman may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage."

Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

One of the most disturbing effects of Beer is that after consuming several Beers, men will often perform sexual acts on ugly women whom they would never normally be attracted to.

Please forward this warning to every male you know.

Posted: Saturday 15th May 2004, 11:38 AM

Sex, Love & Relationship Advice

Have you ever needed advice on your relationships or sex life? Ever found yourself in the embarrassing position of not knowing what to say or even what the hell other people were talking about when discussing THEIR sex lives? Ask Rachyl!

Who's Rachyl I hear you ask?

She's a fiery, redheaded 39-year-old woman who enjoys offering her insights, experiences and advice to others in the hopes that it can help in some way.

Rachyl's advice comes from "a myriad of life experiences, years of dealing with people in all walks of life, more than a smidgeon of common sense and over 6 years of working in the online adult industry".

Now if THAT isn't someone worth talking with I don't know who is!

ASK RACHYL... the big sister who knows how to keep her mouth shut ;)

Posted: Friday 14th May 2004, 5:51 PM

Sex In Public

Good to see I'm not the only one who's enjoyed a little sex in public places (see Street Blowjob for the full story of my good fortune).

According to a poll by FHM magazine, more than half of British adults have had sex in a public place. The survey of 25,000 men and women found that 60% of people said that they had sex in a public space, while one in three women said they had faked an orgasm.

Phew! I'm glad *I* don't know any of those women who faked it LOL

Posted: Thursday 13th May 2004, 5:32 PM

Catherine Bosley Nude!

Nude pictures and videos of Catherine Bosley, the infamous "naked news anchor", will soon be online after the US Court of Appeals ruled in favor of a celebrity porn site who wanted to publish video and photos of her performing an impromptu strip show at a public bar in Florida.

Woohoo! I can't wait... that woman is gorgeous!!

Posted: Wednesday 12th May 2004, 7:11 PM

Fred's Bionic Dick

Now this is the tale of young Freddie Bloor, whose sexual equipment got jammed in the door. By the time they freed him, he didn't feel well, for his private parts were mangled to hell.

They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew, but when they arrived, there was naught they could do. What a sad blow for Fred, condemned without choice, to a life with no sex and a high squeaky voice.

But lucky for Fred, so he wouldn't feel a fool, some bright spark suggested a bionic tool. A bright new electric one, made out of brass, though the batteries would have to be kept up his ass.

So newly equipped and after a rest, Fred thought he would put his new tool to the test. So finding a woman, the nearest one handy, he plied her with drink and made her feel randy.

The girl without waiting, put her hand in his fly, when she felt what was there, gave a cry of surprise. "Thats my bionic chopper, now lets have some fun!" "Jesus!" she said, "It feels like a gun!"

They both stripped off quick, Fred entered her fast then he turned up the speed knob and gave her full blast. They clutched tight to each other as Fred`s dick shook for more, then they shook off the bed and rolled onto the floor.

Now the part hotted up and they started to choke as the air in the room became filled with blue smoke. With a bang Fred`s left nut shot up in the air and his other went plonkety plonk down the stair.

So back for repair went poor Fred, full of woe, was this how his sex life was destined to go? A return to the doctor at the end of each shag with his prick in his pocket and his balls in a bag.

But they fixed young Fred up, made him manly again and they helped out the batteries with flex for the main. So if he can`t get a girl now, Fred doesn't cry, cos he`s AC/DC and can go with a guy.

Posted: Tuesday 11th May 2004, 7:28 PM

Ladies Only Porn

Carrying on from yesterday's post about Porn For Women, one of the Blowjob Blog's lady readers, "EmilyJ" emailed me HER favorite ladies porn site.

This one is called Ladies Only Porn. Emily says she's been a member for over 6 months and wants to recommend it to any female readers out there.

Thanks for sharing Emily, I guess I'll have to get Lana to come over again and go surfing with me. God what have I become... I have to resort to surfing for women's porn to get a girl to come over LOL :)

Posted: Monday 10th May 2004, 6:54 PM

Porn For Women

I was chatting with Sophie's sexy girlfriend Lana tonight and she was complaining about the lack of porn for women on the internet.

I have to admit I'd never really thought about it a lot as I like tits, asses and pussies too much to spend my time looking for pictures of naked guys :)

Anyway, we went surfing and she was right! The vast majority of the porn sites out there are aimed at men (if you'll pardon the pun). You have to search long and hard (ditto) to find a good porn site which focuses on the woman's pleasure.

A lot of the "FOR WOMEN" sites are gay men sites which are also being promoted as being "Porn For Ladies". Now Lana sure doesn't get off watching two guys go at it and I'd guess most women would have similar feelings.

After a while we found this site... Just For Ladies which seemed to hit Lana's hot buttons.

What struck me about this womens porn site was the different way that porn is presented to women as opposed to what I'm used to. Gone were the massive cumshots, multiple penetrations and derogatory labels along with the subservient role that women seem to be landed with on a mans porn site.

They still had the pictures, videos, but instead the focus was more on the romance and emotional side of sex... romantic stories, pictures just for ladies, handsome male models, male strippers, sex advice, live one on one chat, message boards and even an online store!

I guess men and women ARE different in more ways then we realize... it's only natural then that there is porn for women.

Posted: Sunday 9th May 2004, 9:55 PM

Survivor Party

Any "Survivor" fans out there? I'm going to a "Survivor Party" tonight with a group of friends. We're trying to figure out who's going to win the million dollars before all is revealed next week.

I'm hoping Rupert can win but I think the partnership of Boston Rob and Amber is going to be really hard to break up. They should have voted one of the pair off by now as the longer they stay the more power they'll have.

My prediction? Unless Rupert or Jenna can win immunity it will be Rob and Amber in the final two with Amber winning by a vote or two. Rob's made too many enemies to win the prize but he'll still go home happy. After all, the runner-up still gets $100,000 AND he gets a pretty hot looking girl to take home!

NOTE: I won't be posting anything about the results of the final two episodes as there are some readers who may not be seeing them until later.

Posted: Saturday 8th May 2004, 10:40 AM

Free Porn Tape

A couple of months ago I told you about a woman who bought a new digital camera and found a little surprise on it... (see Amateur Sex Video for the full story).

Now there's story floating around about a woman who bought a blank VCR tape and found it contained porn scenes on it!

The woman says she bought what she expected to be a blank tape only to find it's got PORN on it.

Now, you and I would probably rub our hands together and sit back and watch our free porn tape, but this woman contacted the store immediately, not looking for a refund, but wanting to make sure it doesn't happen again!

Go figure!

Posted: Friday 7th May 2004, 4:58 PM

Some Party!

Here's a joke that made me laugh today...

A little boy asks his mother "Mom!! Mom!! Why are you blonde, Dad is black and I'm Japanese?"

To which she replied "Well dear, after the party we had that day you're lucky you don't bark"

Posted: Thursday 6th May 2004, 11:04 AM

How To Pick Up Girls

Well I'll be fucked! I suppose it had to happen sooner or later but I was still more than a little surprised when I stumbled across a site during my latest porn surfing expedition... "How To Pick Up Girls!"

Some of the "Tips and Tactics" make interesting reading...

Chapter 1: The Seven Elements of Charisma
Chapter 2: How to Pick Up Girls in Bars
Chapter 3: How to Play Woman That Play Guys
Chapter 4: Playing to a Woman's Ego
Chapter 5: Nice Girls: Easy as 1, 2, 3...

Posted: Wednesday 5th May 2004, 6:44 PM

Hot Sex Positions

What's YOUR favorite sexual position? When you think about it there's so many different ways to have sex.

A lot depends on the time of the day and your surroundings at the time, (remind me to tell you about the elevator sex I had one day).

Some sex positions are dependant on the amount of time you have (ditto the elevator story).

Others are governed by the person you're having sex with (remind me to tell you about the lecturer at the University I attended).

Another factor is the sexual preference of the participants (I've got a great story about a couple of bisexual girls for you).

A lot of the hottest positions depend on the flexibility of the people involved (remind me to tell you about the one-legged, acrobatic ballerina contortionist... Yeah, OK... I made THAT one up...LOL)

Anyway I was surfing for porn (just for a change) and found this site... Hot Sex Positions, which distracted me completely from my search for a comprehensive list of sexual intercourse options!

So before you go and visit that site, drop me an email and tell me what YOUR favorite is!

Posted: Tuesday 4th May 2004, 8:12 PM

Funny Schlong

"Schlongerman" from Denver sent in this funny story to share with the Blowjob Blog's readers...

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the nursing home taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her and some of the men actually join in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Crazy Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "Stop!", he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, "Stop! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Mad Malcolm stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizable erection in his hand.

"Oh, no" said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"

After reading that, for some reason I got to thinking about "Cold Ethyl" the Alice Cooper song... BRRRRR....

Posted: Monday 3rd May 2004, 6:13 PM

Deep Throat Trouble

More than 30 years after it was made, the ground-breaking porn movie "Deep Throat" is STILL causing trouble!

The Tulane University has been besieged by protesters after deciding to screen the movie which made Linda Lovelace a household name.

The protesting groups objected to the screening of the film due to accusations associated with the movie saying how Linda Lovelace claimed she was coerced into shooting the film with Harry Reems against her will.

Not everyone believes Lovelace's testimony, however as she had previously published two autobiographies describing her support for the porn industry.

Added to this, those on hand during the filming of "Deep Throat" never reported seeing Lovelace threatened or abused, further detracting from her claims.

If you haven't seen the movie, or if you just want to see what all the fuss is about, you can get a copy here... DEEP THROAT VHS VIDEO or DEEP THROAT DVD

Posted: Sunday 2nd May 2004, 10:10 PM

Porn Star Students

It seems that it's not just celebrities who are jumping on the porn movie bandwagon...

At least 26 girls from two Norwegian schools had agreed to film an adult movie as a way to raise money for their 'russebil' (party bus in English).

Girls from seven other buses had also agreed to take part in the film, with two of the girls agreeing to participate in sex scenes with a well-known Norwegian porn star.

Most of the girls had only planned to act as extras or to talk about their sex habits and fantasies on film.

The spokeperson for the group said it was becoming more expensive to decorate the parties-on-wheels, with some costing as much as $3,500 to deck out with sound systems and interiors, so they had contemplated making their own amateur porn video to fund the operation.

The students have now cancelled their plans after pressure from a number of moral and anti-porn groups.

Posted: Monday 1st May 2004, 7:19 PM

Celebrity Porn Stars

There MUST be money in those celebrity porn tapes...

I was just reading two seperate reports about the hottest celebrity porn vides for many years.

It seems the home video circulating on the internet showing reality TV star Paris Hilton having sex with her former boyfriend, Rick Salomon, will soon be coming to an adult video store near you.

A Los Angeles porn production company, Red Light District Video, has acquired the rights from Rick Salomon to distribute the full 45-minute video under the title "One Night In Paris."

It is scheduled for release in adult video stores on June 15.

I wonder what Paris Hilton's parents think of all this?

The second celebrity porn star story involves ex Baywatch girl Gena Lee Nolin who's stepped up her lawsuit to keep her home-made sex video from hitting the internet.

The raunchy video, which features Nolan playing with sex toys and making love with her ex-husband, Greg Fahlman, is set to hit porn sites in the next few weeks.

Understandably, Gena Lee is out to stop the film from ever seeing the light of day.

As much as I sympathise with celebrities who get caught up in this type of thing, surely they should know better?

Anyway, if you want celebrity porn you'll find all you need at Mr. Skin

Posted: Friday 30th April 2004, 4:56 PM

Blowjob Jokes

Keep sending in those blowjob jokes gang, some of them have almost had me rolling on the floor laughing!

Here's one of my politically incorrect favorites sent in by "Joking Janet" from Missouri...

Q. What's the best thing about getting a blowjob from an Ethopian woman?

A. You know she'll swallow.

Posted: Thursday 29th April 2004, 3:24 PM