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Secrets To A Happy Marriage

Now you're probably thinking "It's OBVIOUS! Blowjobs are the secret to a happy marriage". Well you wouldn't be too far wrong but "PapaLarry" has a diferent story to tell...

SECRETS OF A HAPPY MARRIAGE

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, though very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back. I'm going to the bar with the boys to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want beer, my love?" and opened the door to the refrigerator with 25 different kinds of beer from 12 different countries.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop, but at the bar they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence as the wife interrupted with, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" and took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious..."

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" interjected the wife, as she opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

"But my sweet honey, at the bar, there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?" replied his wife... "LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A FUCKING BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER... GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

...and they lived happily ever after.

Posted: Saturday 14th May 2005, 2:44 PM